Assalamualaikum and Hi Again 🌸

After so long, here I am. You know what it means when I’m back here writing most of the time it means I’ve been separating myself from people, keeping things inside, and now I finally feel ready to let it out. Honestly, I have so much to share, and the story I’m about to tell goes all the way back to July 2024. Can I say a year ago? Yes, about a year ago…

That was the period when I went through a lot of brokenness and healing. During that time, I prayed so hard to Allah to protect me, to close my heart from anyone who might not be good for me. I asked Him to guard me, especially when it came to guys who tried to get close.

The truth is I was in a relationship with a Chinese guy. He was genuinely kind to me. He never forgot to buy me small things whenever we went out, he respected me, and he never once tried to take advantage of me. Honestly, I really appreciated him. But what could I do… the biggest barrier was religion. Our families didn’t give their blessing because of that.

I loved him, I really did. It was so hard to accept the reality when both families stood against us. My family told me, “Agama kamu pun masih terumbang-ambing, macam mana nak didik dan jaga orang yang baru masuk Islam? Besar tanggungjawab agama tu, susah nak kawal.” On his side, his parents also didn’t allow him to convert.

So, in the end, we both decided to end it peacefully. Alhamdulillah, at least both of us were mature enough to discuss it in a good way. But deep inside, it hurt so much. I still pray that one day Allah will open his heart towards Islam. If it’s written in my fate, maybe then things will be different.

It took me months to move on. I was so used to having him around, and then suddenly he was gone. Just like that. Until today, I still carry a little hope and I continue to pray the best for both of us. Whatever happens, may Allah ease everything.